Why is it that a ball of yarn can't walk?
Because its all tied up!
Why do crocheters make good comedians?
Because they keep us in stitches!
What do you call an unmarried stitch?
A single crochet!
What happened to the naughty little afghan?
He got into treble!
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How many crocheters does it take to change a
lightbulb?
Just one, but when she's done, she's going to want to crochet a cord pull for it, and a light cover, and then she'll need to make matching valances, and of course the whole room will need new doilies and chair covers, and...
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A woman is crocheting as she drives (which is totally unsafe, and I don't advocate it). Pretty soon, her speed has crept all the way up to 95 mph--and she passes a parked police car. The car gives chase. Officer Bob turns on his siren, but the woman, oblivious, doesn't notice him. Finally, he pulls up alongside her car and yells, "Pull over! PULL OVER!"
She looks at him, looks at her crocheting, and yells--
"NO! It's a CARDIGAN!"
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Did you know the art of crocheting is mentioned in documents dating back to Bible times? In the Book of Genesis, chapters 40 and 41, it tells the story of Joseph, and how his father had a coat of many colors made for him. Well this is obviously some ancient-times crocheter's attempt to use up her stash of yarn!!
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There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. Nothing was held back. Well, almost nothing. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the old man took down the shoebox and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $250,000. Holy Moly! He asked her about the contents.
"When we were to be married," she started, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily." The old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were inside the box! She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the doilies, but.... what about all this money? Where did it all come from?"
"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the doilies.
Love the one about the doilies in the shoe box! Thanks for sharing them.
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